Regrets
by Kimblee Whitehead
Summary: She cried for the loss of Alex. She cried for the pain of Olivia. She cried, because she didn't want any regrets. Alex died and left Olivia heartbroken, and Melinda realized she might have made the same mistake. Felinda, AO


**Regrets**

**Author's Note: Before you read, I highly recommend that you pull up another tab, go on youtube, pull up Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis, and listen to it while you read. The following was inspired by listening to that lovely little piece of music, and your lives will be better because of it. If nothing else, listen to it after reading this. **

* * *

><p>Melinda felt the warn stinginess of her eyes, as she looked at the body before her. She wanted desperately for this to be a dream. She wanted to close her eyes for one second, and open them to find herself in her own bed. It would be a sunny day, and she wouldn't be looking at the body of her dead friend.<p>

She tried it. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She wanted to suddenly feel the chill of the morgue air be replaced by the comforting warmth of her bed covers.

"_You know it's not going to work," _she heard a voice say, _"Why do you even kid yourself?"_

Melinda Warner opened her eyes, to see Alex Cabot standing before her. Melinda sighed.

Melinda Warner had a gift that no other human seemed to have. At least, no other human that she knew of. It was a small superpower. Her gift.

For as long as she could remember, Melinda Warner was able to see and talk to the dearly departed. She didn't know how she was able to do this, or why. She still wasn't entirely sure that she wasn't crazy. She just knew that she could.

She didn't know if this gift helped or hindered her abilities as a medical examiner. On one hand, estimations on time and cause of death were made much easier, when the victim was able to tell their side of the story. On the other hand, it made all of her cases personal. She could hear, talk, and feel the presence of the victims. It made it that much more heartbreaking.

However, feeling bad for someone you met after they had died had nothing on mourning for the loss of somebody you knew in the mortal world.

"Of course, it had to be the logical one of us that died," Melinda muttered, looking at the ghost of her friend. She always found it disconcerting when ghosts were standing over their bodies. On the slab before her, was the lifeless pale body of Alex Cabot, while standing above it, was its owner.

_"So…now's when you do my autopsy?" _Alex asked, looking at her body. Melinda nodded.

"Yeah."

Alex started to walk gracefully around the morgue. She wore a pure white turtleneck and skirt, the outfit she had been wearing when she died. However, there was a drabble of crimson where she had been shot. Her skin was paler then it had been in the living. She truly looked like an Ice Queen.

Melinda heard the doors of the elevator ding, and turned around. She felt relieved. It was something to keep her from continuing with the autopsy.

Into the room, came detective Odafin Tutuola. There was a stoic look on his face. He was trying to be the brave one of the group. He had taken it up upon himself to try to be the anchor the rest of them could depend on in this desperate situation, but his eyes gave his true emotions away.

"Mel," he greeted, walking slowly in the room. He winced, as he looked at Alex's cold body in the middle of the room. He swallowed.

"Fin," she said. Without even thinking about it, she embraced him. She needed the comfort of a human companion right now.

He wrapped his arms around her, as she nuzzled her head into his shoulder.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, softly into her ear. Her eyes glanced to Alex, who was back at her body, looking at the two of them. There was a small smile on her face. She was humming a song to herself, and there was a certain twinkle in her eye. She nodded her head back and forth to her humming.

That was the one thing that she could never understand about ghosts. They were always so nonchalant about their situation, completely unconcerned about the fact they were dead. Melinda didn't know why. Maybe there was a enlightenment you gained with death. Maybe once you died, was the only time you would truly be at peace.

"I've been better," she said into his shoulder. She released the hug, reluctantly.

"Mel," he said, grabbing onto her shoulders, "There's something I want to…with the recent events…I don't want to…"

It was the first time Melinda Warner saw the detective have trouble with words. She looked into his eyes. They were glossy and red, like everyone else in the building. However, there was something she couldn't quite explain in the way he was looking at her.

_"For something great to be gained, a great thing of equal value must be lost," _Alex said, with the same sly grin she had before.

"What do you mean?" Melinda asked, her question directed at the dead ADA. However, Fin thought her statement was directed at him.

He was magically able to answer Melinda's question, when he suddenly crashed his lips upon hers. Melinda's eyes widened. That hadn't been what she was expecting. Fin was kissing her.

She didn't know how to react. Her heart rate increase, and she felt something inside her she didn't know how to explain. Something good. However, her mind paniced. Fin was her friend, and he was kissing her. Her mind controlled her body, and she pushed him away. He merely blinked, speechless.

"Fin," she muttered.

"None of us are safe," Fin said in a panic, needing to explain himself, "Alex was a prosecutor. She wasn't in the line of danger, but she was murdered anyways. I wanted to…I didn't want any regrets."

"No regrets," Mel muttered. She grinned. It was the first time she felt semi-happy within the past few days.

The beep of Fin's phone started to go off, and he sighed.

"Come back later," Melinda said, looking back to the body, "I have work of my own I need to do."

Her heard panged as he walked away, and she sighed when he made it back into the elevator. She heard Alex giggle.

_"No regrets," _she repeated, _"I never knew Fin was the type to be romantic."_

"Neither did I," Melinda sighed, "I never knew he…liked me."

Alex giggled at the statement. She looked to the ghost. She watched as Alex looked back down to her body, gently tracing her cold face with her hands. She didn't know what to think.

"_I was beautiful, wasn't I?" _Alex asked. Melinda couldn't think of anybody in the world who would have said Alex Cabot was ugly. She had been graced with the gift of looks.

"Yes," Melinda said.

_"And smart…and successful, I had it good, huh?"_

"Yes," the ME replied again. Alex giggled, and brushed a hair off the face of her body, like a mother would a child.

"_I didn't appreciate any of it, you know," _she said, _"I didn't know how good I had it. I was an idiot."_

Melinda didn't know how to respond to that statement, even after all these years. Ghosts had a tendency to talk about all the things they had and didn't realize they did, and it left her speechless each time. If it had been her, she would have been kicking and screaming, crying how she didn't want to die yet. Every night, she told herself she would get mad. She wouldn't let herself go easily.

_"Melinda, do you know these things?" _Alex asked, looking up at her, "_I mean, we're exactly the same."_

"What?"

_"You're a beautiful woman, you're smarter than most people, and you're successful. You have people who adore you for being you. Fin just proved that. You know this, right?"_

It felt like she had forgotten how to speak. She had never thought about any of those things. They were the last things on her mind. She had never used any of those words to describe herself in her mind.

"I don't know," she finally said. Alex gave her a motherly smile, and walked seemed to float over to her. She could still hear the blonde's heals click on the floor below her. The ghost placed a soft hand on her shoulder, and she felt herself get cold.

_"Die knowing that you are," _Alex said, sternly, "_You're an amazing person, Melinda. Don't die realizing this. Don't be like me, who only realizes it now. Take advantage of all you are, and use it. Don't die with regrets."_

Melinda swallowed. There was true power in Alex's words.

"I wouldn't have regrets," she muttered.

"_Are you sure about that?"_

It was then, that there was another ding of the elevator, and Melinda's eyes were suddenly drawn to Olivia Bensen. The detective seemed a bit shaky, and she was pale. She didn't blame her, though. Olivia had been the one to watch the life fade out of Alex, being helpless as her friend slowly bled out. How her friend was still standing after an experience like that amazed her.

"Melinda," she greeted, her eyes glued on the ADA's body.

"_Olivia," _Alex murmured.

"I see…you haven't done the autopsy yet," Olivia said, her voice shaky, "Can…can I…I want to say…"

As the female detective tried to find her words, Alex walked over to her side. She gave a loving smile at the detective.

_"This is what happens when you die with regrets," _Alex said, _"Right now, she's kicking herself for never admitting her true feelings. For being afraid of ruining our friendship, when deep down inside, she knows I would have reciprocated. Just think. Fin has a pretty dangerous job. In a couple of years, this could be you."_

The words sent chills down Melinda's spine.

"Do you want to be alone?" she asked. Olivia seemed a bit stunned that the ME knew what she wanted, but nodded.

"Can I?" She asked. Melinda nodded.

Alex placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder, and Melinda watched as the woman shuttered as she felt the coldness of the grip. She wondered if Olivia could feel Alex's presence.

"Take as much time as you need," Melinda said. She needed a break. Everything was just too much.

As she walked away from the door, she heard the walls break for Olivia. The sound of her crying echo'd around the wall. Melinda felt her heart break, but something clicked. Olivia had liked Alex, she realized. More than just friends. She had never gotten a chance to tell her friend, and now she would never get the chance. Olivia would live the rest of her life, thinking that Alex would never know.

Melinda realized that she might live the rest of her life, knowing she pushed Fin away when she needed him most. Why had she done that? She felt the fireworks when Fin had kissed her, but her brain had panicked. How had she been so stupid?

She walked into her office, and shut the door. She walked into the corner, and cried.

She cried for the loss of Alex.

She cried for the pain of Olivia.

She cried for her regret.

She prayed she would get another chance.

* * *

><p><strong>As stated before, this was inspired by listening to Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis, one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written. Yet again, it can be blamed on Fayth in the Music. She showed me the song...and I cried while listening. Why...why must you make me love so many things?<br>Although, she's sick now, so that might be karma. Everybody wish her health (because then she can get back to writing her stories!)  
>Thank you all for reading.<strong>

**Kimblee Whitehead, we're done here. **


End file.
